――He lost to his bet.

The tearful, smiling Rem and the innermost thoughts of Subaru, who was knocked down by his own words from before, represented the languidness caused by the defeat of the match where he should have thrown away everything.

If she was――or perhaps, Subaru believed she was a girl who had a heavily dependent heart for him. No, he wished for that.
Or perhaps, he thought that she would choose the version of himself that threw everything away.

It was a transient dream. A conceited thought. He should have known that.
Even though he ended up deciding to run away, precisely because he felt like he was worthless, just what was he expecting from it?

[Subaru: We…….we might not be able to laugh right now, but…..look. Once we start doing things, we should be able to laugh…..yeah. That’s right. So, uh…..]

The deal should have already been concluded, but what came out of Subaru’s mouth afterwards were puzzling, effeminate, glossing words of resignation.
He could not think of any refute for Rem’s words. However, he didn’t mind continuing his obscure words. He thought that maybe she’d still be able to have a change in heart.
If he continued to make a speech she would definitely――that also was a convenient way of thinking.

[Rem: …..I thought about it before too.]

Rem looks at him, Subaru seeming as if he’s hanging onto something, and then she closes her eyes and whispered those words.
She tilts her well-kept face slightly upward and

[Rem: We would arrive at Kararagi and rent a house. I’d want a house that would provide for our daily lives. But when I consider the money we’d have on our hands, I think it would be plausible because we’d first find a way to maintain a stable income.]

She brings up one of her fingers and talks as if to add on to the picture of Subaru’s future expectations that he had been depicting.

[Rem: Fortunately, I think I’d be able to find a job easily thanks to the education I received from Roswaal-sama’s arrangements, even in Kararagi. Subaru-kun…..Subaru-kun would maybe either have to find a manual labor job or take of the things around me.]

She lets out a small smile as she makes fun of Subaru’s incompetent points.
The education of this world was shallow. You could say that the expertise relating to it was completely insufficient for Subaru too.

[Rem: When our income becomes stable, it would be ideal for us to seek a place that would be a bit more decent to live in. And then Subaru-kun would have to study so that he could find a different job to take up…..in reality, it would probably take about 1 or so years to do it. I’ll get Subaru-kun to be more able to do his best on his own more quickly as well.]

Her training methods for Subaru were actually surprisingly difficult.
She would take Ram’s place in looking over Subaru’s studies and would sometimes use a kind method of teaching. However, there was no mercy when it came to the subjects and his answers. There were times when he’d complain about the circumstances being hard towards himself, but at the same time, it was a part of the training that he liked.

[Rem: We’d both be working, and if we saved some amount of money…….we could maybe buy a house. We could even open some sort of shop too. Kararagi is a dealing capital, so we could definitely use one of Subaru-kun’s wild ideas.]

Rem puts her hands together and draws a seemingly over-optimistic picture of the future into the sky.
Subaru still seemed to be clearly watching her creating her visions.
There he was, as always, causing trouble for Rem, being spoiled by Rem, and despite all that, there was no doubt that he still held some sense of responsibility and sweated earnestly.

If that could be true, then that would be nice. That’s what he truly thought.
Just how much happiness would he grab a hold of if he lived earnestly for her sake, and for her sake only?

[Rem: And once our jobs were on track…..well, it’s embarrassing……but we could have a child. It would be a half-oni half-human, so it would definitely be a naughty child. Whether it be twins or triplets, they would still be cute kids.]

Rem blushes from having her fantasies go a bit too far as she shakes her head.
She counts on her fingers, and amazingly enough, goes past the tenth count and then she stops herself.

[Rem: I’m sure it won’t always be fun times. Not everything will go as well as I imagine it. We might have no boys and they might all be daughters instead. Subaru-kun might feel ashamed about his family.]

[Subaru: ……Rem]

[Rem: But but! Even if the children grow and get to an age where they treat Subaru-kun cruelly, I will defend you. The neighborhood would call us a happily married couple and then we’d slowly spend our time together as we grow old……]

[Subaru: ……Remm]

[Rem: I’d feel sorry for Subaru-kun, but if possible I’d like to pass away first. I’d be on the bed, Subaru-kun would hold onto my hand, our kids and their kids would surround me and they’d quietly say “Rem was happy”, and then you’d all see me off.]

He couldn’t lift up his face.
Rem’s speech that depicted the picture of her future expectation’s quietly and gently hurt Subaru’s heart.

[Rem: I could happily……blissfully end my life.]

[Subaru: If you…..]

Rem finishes her speech full of sorrowful happiness――a sorrowful happiness that sounded encouraging; a sorrowful happiness that seemed like it made you feel uneasy from listening to it; a sorrowful happiness that felt like it began tearing the bottom of your heart out.
Violent emotions full of an indescribable type of misery were left within Subaru’s heart as he finished listening to her speech.

His throat trembles. Something heavy is sinking within his stomach. His head aches. He starts experiencing a welling of something hot within his eyes and then shakes his head in order to deceive himself.

[Subaru: If you……if you want it that much……!]

She could have run away anywhere and everywhere with Subaru.
But that sincere request was

[Rem: If Subaru-kun could smile while wishing for that future……I would be able to die with sincere happiness.]

She bore an amount of sorrow that was no less than the amount Subaru bore, but even then that sorrow failed to affect her smile.

He looks at her keen smile in astonishment and finally, finally understood.
He finally understood that, no matter how much he clung onto it, she couldn’t turn the intentions behind it around.

He finally and clearly understood that he had arrived at a hopeless end and lost to his bet.

[――――]

He was attacked heavily by a feeling of exhaustion that was similar to the type of weariness you’d feel from having something heavy weighing on your shoulder.
Subaru holds his face with the palm of his hand and despairs as he somehow narrowly endures the type of exhaustion that would make you feel as if you were going to fall over on the spot.

Rem turned down accompanying him on his escape.
That basically meant that he couldn’t use this method to save her anymore. If he stayed by her side to protect her, what lied ahead would be a cruel fate for this girl who would head to the mansion――and that wasn’t all; there was also the cruel fate of the tragedy of the dead-end that could not be altered.

Having said that, did that mean that he would leave Rem behind and run away by himself?
If he left by himself, he would be left with the anxiety from the unforeseeable future, but even then he’d at least be able to run away from the despair of the futile evasion that would draw near before his eyes. Of course, Subaru’s presence wouldn’t change anything about the result of the occurring event. Simply put, he would feel at ease if he turned away from the truth――it was nothing but a blessing to be able to avoid looking straight at the reality through feigning ignorance by closing his eyes and blocking his ears from the matter.
Even if it saved him only to this extent, it was something that he wanted so bad that he clung onto it. However, that would mean that he’d be saying that there was a type of aid that he’d accept all on his own.

Even if he fought the battle, even if he sunk into the sea of madness, and even if he abandoned everything and ran away, fate would never forgive him.
If that was the case, then just what could he――

[Rem: If I could live with Subaru-kun……having you think of taking me with you when you thought to run away makes me happy from the bottom of my heart. It makes me happy――but it’s no good.]

She puts her hands on her chest, throws away the ticket of escape that Subaru presented to her, and even then she hangs her blushed face in shame, which was flooded with emotions.
She herself knew that this was a special opportunity that shouldn’t be taken for granted――an opportunity that would make her wild tales come true in the future ahead after they ran, ran, and ran away.
He talked about a tale of happiness, but even then, the reason she rejected his proposal is because

[Rem: Because I know that if I run away together with you right now…..it’ll definitely feel like I’d be leaving behind the Subaru-kun that I love the most.]

[――――]

Just what was Rem saying?

Subaru lifts his head slowly and looks at her with dumbfounded eyes.
Rem is faced towards Subaru with a smile full of sorrow, and yet the fortitude of her eyes shoots through him. She continues speaking as Subaru becomes overpowered by her spirit.

[Rem: Subaru-kun. Please tell me what happened.]

He shakes his head. It’s impossible. If he told Rem about it, she will die.

[Rem: If you aren’t going to say it, please believe in me. I’ll definitely try to do something about it.]

He shakes his head. It’s impossible. If he let her do that, Rem wouldn’t live.

[Rem: ……Let’s at least head back now, shall we? We might come up with something if we take our time and think calmly.]

He shakes his head. It’s impossible. If he waited for that, everyone will die.

[Subaru: I’ve already worried about this……I’ve already thought about this. I’ve already suffered……that’s why I gave up.]

Nobody believes in Subaru.
Nobody expects anything from Subaru.
Everyone disregarded Subaru’s imprudent foolishness of warning them about what would happen if they didn’t take action.

He continued to be ignored. He continued to be sidestepped. He continued to look like an utter fool and barely made it to this stage.
Subaru’s time and the wearing out of his heart to him were――

[Rem: ――It’s easy to give up. But]

Rem suddenly refutes Subaru’s words about his frailness.

――It’s easy to give up.

An incomprehensible shock shot through Subaru’s whole body the moment those words entered his ears.
It felt like a shock of being struck by thunder from the top of your head. The inability to put it into words took form as an explosion within his chest. His whole body was ruled over by a sensation that felt like all the pores throughout his body were open and burning.

[Subaru: It’s easy…….to give up……..?]

[Rem: Subaru-kun?]

[Subaru: Don’t give me that shit…….!]

Subaru lets out a voice hinted with the grudge from having to bear with tragedy at Rem, who had confusion dwelling within her eyes.

This is no joke. It’s easy to give up? Are you saying that quickly abandoning a goal, turning your back on it, and then putting your hands in the air as you start to run is something that brings sure ease?
There’s no way something foolish like that could be true.

[Subaru: There’s no way in hell that giving up is easy!!]

His emotions full of unbearable gloom explode as they board onto his tongue and get spit out.
Rem cowers in fear as if in astonishment from Subaru raising his angry voice. She looks at Subaru with the type of bewilderment the people coming in and out of the King’s capital’s entrance had when he showed a similar type of enraged behavior.
Subaru glares only at the Rem before his eyes with the type of ignorance that he had towards the disapproving glances of the crowd at the king’s capital.

[Subaru: Do you think that I’m giving up, completely discarding everything, throwing everything and anything away, without doing anything and without thinking about anything at all?!]

It was a bitter decision. He shed bitter tears and felt his throat dying from the dryness caused by his shouting. It was a decision that he made because of his realization that he wouldn’t reach her.
He came to a conclusion that could only be described as giving up on everything. However, the one thing that he could not forgive, no matter what, was underestimating just how much sacrifices he had to make in order to reach this conclusion.

[Subaru: It wasn’t easy to give up……! It was easier to think that I could fight and do something…….! But it was helpless……..there was no path to take! I couldn’t continue on any path other than the one of giving up…..!]

The fated dead-end blocked every path presented to Subaru in ridicule.
Even if he challenged it and challenged it, even if he fought and fought, even if he polished his plan, even if he entrusted it to others, and even if he tried to run away from it….

Carrying all of it was impossible now.
His hand that reached out was rejected by even the people whom he wanted to help. So, why should he do something like continue to do his best? Who would tell Subaru that he gave up too quickly?
Did this mean that he could say the same words if she went through the same experiences as Subaru, felt the same pain as him, had a taste of the same crises, and saw the same hell that he saw?

[Subaru: If I could do something about it……even I………even I……..!]

He truly felt like he wanted to do something about it.
It really did seem like he wanted to help and save them and that he disliked having them being taken away.
But he couldn’t reach them. They wouldn’t let him. This and everything that piled up in Subaru’s everyday life――everything during these times led to him losing his spirit.
That’s why Subaru――

[Rem: Subaru-kun]

She squeezes out her voice calling out to Subaru, whose head faced downwards, and she had eyes filled with all kinds of emotions.
He heard a terrible buzzing in his ears. He was disgusted with how his shameful motives were exposed. He couldn’t look up at her face.
She says to this pathetic, helpless loser who lost to an inevitable fate

[Rem: It’s easy to give up.]

[———–]

[Rem: But]

Rem repeats the words that set Subaru into a state of rage.
He felt dubious about her words. Subaru’s lips tremble and he lifts his face.

Why couldn’t she understand?
Could she really not understand Subaru’s suffering, even after all this?

The gloom of his innermost thoughts, his dissatisfaction, and his sentiments that seemed like an outburst of anger…

[Rem: ――It doesn’t fit Subaru-kun.]

All of those things vanished when this girl before him looked straight into his dark eyes and made this declaration.

※ ※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※

Rem said those words with confidence as if she believed that they were absolutely true.

[Rem: I don’t know what type of rough feelings you’ve been through, or what you’ve done to make you suffer like this. I know I shouldn’t rashly say something like I understand it too.]

[――――]

[Rem: But…but even then…there are things that I understand.]

[――――]

[Rem: I know that Subaru-kun isn’t someone who could give up on something midway.]

Rem speaks these words without shame, without fear, without trembling to the boy in front of her who sunk into sorrow,  the boy who threw everything away――the boy who certainly spoke about giving up.

[Rem: I know…]

[――――]

[Rem: I know that Subaru-kun is someone who can talk about the desirable future with a smile.]

[――――]

Rem continues to speak as she looks straight at the boy――the boy whose face was filled with feelings of guilt and regret――who spoke about a world that waited ahead that should’ve been filled with peaceful comfort.

[Rem: I know…]

[――――]

[Rem: I know that Subaru-kun isn’t someone who can give up on the future.]

She makes these declarations to Subaru, who had his head faced down in shame, as if she had them engraved within her heart.
She held only a sincere radiance within her eyes――a sincere radiance that depicted anything but a color of her completely ceasing to believe in Subaru.

Subaru was overwhelmed by that fierce radiance within her eyes.
Because after all, this couldn’t have been anything but a misunderstanding by her; it was a misunderstanding that was so wrong to the point of it being humorous. It couldn’t be anything other than an overestimation of Subaru as a person.

Subaru didn’t understand just how precious, just how triumphant of a person Rem had reflected within her eyes.
However, the real Subaru shouldn’t be such a great person like she thought he was.

He complained, broke from adversity, became aware of his ineffectiveness upon seeing cruelty, became covered with the sense of defeat, and then acted like he was going to run away――these were the things that depicted Natsuki Subaru.

[Subaru: Tha…….I’m not that kind of person…..I―I]

[Rem: I’m not wrong. Everyone…..Subaru-kun hasn’t given up on Emilia-sama, Nee-sama, Roswaal-sama, nor any of the others.]

She responds with a strong tone of voice, but she was mistaken. Subaru abandoned them.

[Subaru: I gave in. I gave up. It was impossible to hold everything from the beginning…..The palm of my hand was too small. Everything spilled and fell out. Nothing is left……]

[Rem: No, that’s not true. Subaru-kun――]

She continued and continued to deny Subaru’s resignation.
Why did she go as far as to prevent herself from recognizing Subaru’s faults that were displayed from the shameful sights that he displayed up until now?

That filled him up with too much discomfort to handle, as he thinks to himself

――Just how much are you going to tell me?

[Subaru: ――What do you, just what do you――just what do you know about me!?]

His violent emotions――the redness of the scorching heat of the fire that flared up in his chest busted out violently.
He raises his infuriated voice and immediately hits the wall to the side with his fist, making a rough noise. The red from his blood stains the wall from his cracked hand and he spreads it recklessly with the palm of his hand.

[Subaru: This is the type of man I am! I have no power, yet I wish for things out of my reach! I have no knowledge, yet I only dream! I can’t do anything, but I struggle in vain…..!]

Everyone has at least one redeeming feature about themselves.
Then that one redeeming feature develops, and everyone goes to a position that fits them.
――However, Subaru didn’t even have that. He didn’t even have that, yet the height of the place he sought for was so tall that it was beyond his reach.

[Subaru: I…….! I―I hate myself!!]

He fooled himself with a frivolous smile, continued to run away as he played the fool by mocking himself, and the reality that he didn’t face seriously――that reality was put in front of him, and then his real intention was exposed.
Natsuki Subaru hated himself more than anyone and everyone.

[Subaru: I only give lip and act cocky even though I can’t do shit! I don’t do anything, yet I’m damn good at complaining! Who the hell do I think I am!? It’s ridiculous how I could live like this without shame! Don’t you think so!? Right!?]

He couldn’t improve himself, so he showed relative contempt to others in order to make it seem as if he was showing self improvement――a manifestation of cowardice. He didn’t want to accept his inferiority to others, so he adopted this behavior of criticizing others and protecting his own shallow pride――a manifestation of vulgarity.

[Subaru: I’m empty. I have nothing inside. No doubt about it……aahh, it’s obvious. Of course it’s obvious! Do you know what I did all the way up until now before I was put in this situation where I met you guys!?]

The things he did before being put into a different world…
In his ordinary, everyday life of boredom in the original world he did――

[Subaru: ――I did nothing.]

He spent his days indulging himself in laziness and sinking into indolence, not caring about hard work and not caring about his studies.
He spent those days in a slothful way, but he still kept a convenient interpretation of his life: he believed that he wasn’t giving up, and when the time came, he would give it his all.

[Subaru I didn’t do anything……not a single damn thing! I had all that time! All that freedom to do what I wanted! I could’ve done anything, yet I didn’t do shit! And this is the result! You’re seeing the result!]

If Subaru made use of his superfluous amount of time, surely he would have made something of himself.
However, the reality was that he put a great amount of his time to waste. As a result, he couldn’t even create something because he never gained anything.
Thus, when he wanted to do something from the bottom of his heart, he would lack the power to accomplish it, the knowledge needed to do it, along with the skills needed to do it.

[Subaru: My rotten character was created all because of my powerlessness and incompetence……..! I don’t do anything, yet I want to accomplish something. It’s the limit of arrogance…….The price of my negligence and the wasteful habits of my grand life will end up killing you and I.]

He was beyond repair. He was beyond helpless.
Even if he did his life over again, surely he would walk along the same path, waste his time like he did before, come to this place with the same mindset, and then take up the same regret as before.
The creation of his rotten character wouldn’t change. Natsuki Subaru held nothing but this type of shallow nature. That reality was set in stone.

[Subaru: That’s right. I have no character…..Even though I thought to live on in this place, nothing has changed. That old man Wilheim saw it clearly. Right?]

He remained at the king’s capital and took sword training lessons under Wilheim at Crusch’s mansion.
He got knocked down over and over. The old man looked at Subaru as he continued to challenge him while being worn-out and saw through his intentions.

[Subaru: Because after all, there’s really not much sense in explaining the spirit needed to become strong to someone who has no intent on doing so.]

He swung swords with Subaru and knocked him down in his daily training, but when it came to his spirit, that old man shook his head.
Subaru denied it by saying he didn’t understand its meaning and couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, but――truthfully, he clearly understood.

[Subaru: It wasn’t as if I was trying to become strong or trying to make things better……I was simply taking a clear pose to show that it wasn’t like I wasn’t trying and that I was putting in effort. It was simply to justify myself…..]

He was abandoned by Emilia and couldn’t have shown a higher level of misery at the king’s election.
He couldn’t bear the surrounding looks focused on him, so in order to view their looks, he played his actions off as “working hard” and attempted to protect himself.

――”I’m taking action. It’s not like I’m not doing anything. I’m trying to make a change.”

He sought for a reason to give in like this and merely decided to take those actions.
However, it proved how nothing changed at all when he felt like he was trying to change himself.

[Subaru: I wanted to say that it couldn’t be helped! I wanted people to tell me that it couldn’t be helped! That’s it! I only pretended to do my best for that reason! Even when I had you help me with studying, it was just a pose to cover up my embarrassment! Deep inside, I’m just a small, cowardly piece of filth who only cares about my appearance. Deep inside, nothing….! Nothing has changed!]

His bluff peels and starts to fall out. His excessive pride starts to crumble.
His shallow shell was smashed and everything poured out――his excessive pride of not wanting to be thought poorly by others and his selfishness of wanting others to pardon his assertion of being in the right both poured out.

[Subaru: …..Truthfully, I knew. I at least knew that everything was my fault.]

Attacking with a strong voice, putting the blame on others, and finding a reason for things would put him at ease.
He felt at ease without seeing his true self. He felt at ease without showing his true self. If his exterior remained unpeeled, he could feel at ease from not being able to see what was inside.

He wanted to be loved even with his weak, egotistical self that only shouted.
He couldn’t look at his awful being. He avoided looking at his awful being because it put him at ease.

[Subaru: I’m the worst. …….I hate myself.]

All of the produced dim darkness gathered in his heart spilled out as Subaru took a violent breath.
Ever since he came into the different world, the pollution clouded with impurity――no, the gloominess that he had ever since he was in the original world was all thrown out to his heart’s content.

He thought of himself as the type of person who would spew these things out.
Even after spitting everything out, he still couldn’t get the strong feelings in his chest that were similar to nausea to disappear. Was it not a given that he’d feel a bit lighter after spitting out everything that was stockpiled in his chest?
Those fragments didn’t settle down. On top of that, he started to become covered in shame to the point of wanting to die at once, as he finally became aware of his own foolishness upon putting his feelings into words.

He let out that corruption, and that’s when his weakness of thinking only about himself proved to be worthless more than anything else.
Subaru cared about his own appearance more than he worried about making her anxious. In the face of Rem’s eyes――eyes that were before him and were filled with faith――he displayed this behavior that made it seem as if he was painting over her visions with black paint to say that everything about the radiance she saw in her eyes was fake.

That was it in the end.
He had things that he hated about himself and he had bad sides about himself too. He recognized his lacking qualities and truly felt it, but that didn’t necessarily mean that he could quickly improve them either. In fact, the backbone to do something about the extraordinarily deep and dark holes of himself might’ve even been taken away from him as well.

The gaping wide empty hole he contained was proof of how Natsuki Subaru was an incomplete human being. He didn’t feel like having that proof come alive before his eyes, which led to a substantially unmotivated type of depravity.

It wasn’t even worth feeling pity for Subaru. This blue haired girl listened to him tell the view of himself as a piece of trash, which was a view that stuck to the bottom of his heart, and finally even she―

[Rem: I know…]

[――――]

[Rem: I know that Subaru-kun is a person who will have the courage to reach out, no matter how far he falls into the endless darkness.]

――Even now, Rem didn’t give up on Subaru.

※ ※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※

The unconditional love and the full trust Rem had for Subaru made him feel an unprecedented level of unease.

He cursed at all those wrongdoings, exposed all those unsightly but true feelings, had a facade that was full of lies, and confessed that he was garbage beyond saving. But even then…

――Why was she looking at Subaru with eyes that were filled with this sort of affection?

[Rem: I love it when Subaru-kun pets my head. When your hand goes through my hair, it feels like Subaru-kun and I are communicating through your touch.]

She quietly and suddenly starts to murmur these words at Subaru, who kept silent.

[Rem: I love Subaru-kun’s voice. When I hear a single word from it, I feel like my heart becomes warm. I love Subaru-kun’s eyes. They’re usually stingy, but I love how they become softer when you act nice to someone.]

Rem continues as if to press for an answer from Subaru, who said nothing.

[Rem: I love Subaru-kun’s fingers. Even though you’re a boy, I can tell that they’re lovely. However, when I hold onto them they give an impression of boy’s fingers after all: strong and slender fingers. I love the way Subaru-kun walks. I love how you occasionally turn back as if to check if I’m keeping up with you.]

His heart raised a shriek.
When those words hit Subaru like that, a shriek echoed throughout his chest.

[Subaru: ……Stop it.]

[Rem: I love Subaru-kun’s face when you sleep. You become defenseless like a baby and I notice that your eyelashes are a bit long. I touch your cheeks and you become calm, then I play with your lips and you don’t notice……it really makes my heart ache. I love you.]

[Subaru: Why……]

Why did she continue to speak these words?
Why did she continue to throw these words at Subaru when he was this foolish and had nothing?

[Rem: When Subaru-kun said that you hated yourself, I wanted to let you know that I know that you have all these good parts about you.]

[Subaru: That’s…..that’s all fake…….!]

Rem saw a convenient illusion.
The real Subaru isn’t that type of person. The real Subaru is more filthy. Subaru is a person who is the exact opposite of the more favorable version of himself that Rem saw――a Subaru that was filled with more malice.

[Subaru: You just don’t understand! I know myself the best!]

[Rem: Subaru-kun, you only know yourself! Just how much do you know about the Subaru-kun that I see in my eyes!?]

Rem reflexively raises her voice and yelled as if to cover it up even more.
This was the first time she used a loud voice at Subaru ever since he came to this place, which startled Subaru. He was startled, held his breath, and finally noticed that large teardrops were gathering in her eyes.

If she accepted Subaru’s words, she shouldn’t have been hurt.
She listened to all of Subaru’s self-harming words. After that, this kindhearted girl’s chest could not have been undamaged.

But even then, she continued to believe in Subaru.
Even though she knew about his true self that told her about all of those wrongdoings, Rem continued to believe in Subaru.

[Subaru: Why…….why are you so insistent about………I’m weak, small…….I run………I’m running away just like before. I’m running, so why do you still……]

――Why do you still believe in the pitiful and unreliable version of myself that only lost to my own weakness? Why do you still believe in the me that didn’t even believe in myself?

[Rem: Because you are my hero, Subaru-kun.]

Subaru’s heart trembled quietly in reaction to her words that had all of her unconditional faith gathered together.
It didn’t matter what type of unfavorable conditions piled up. It didn’t matter what type of faults he displayed. A wish that rejected all of their malice was included in this single word.

Then he belatedly loses it and finally realized it.

He made a mistake. He had a misunderstanding. He could only have been mistaken.
Subaru was convinced that she――Rem was the only one who would always accept Subaru’s depravity. He made a mistake in thinking that she’d forgive him no matter what type of weak and pitiful shameful sights he showed.
That was an error. It was a mistake. It was a fatal type of stupidity.

――Rem is the only person who absolutely did not forgive Subaru’s lack of self-reliance.

They told him that he didn’t have to do anything. They told him to sit back and stay quiet. They told him to not do anything pointless. Everyone told Subaru all of these things.
Nobody had things like expectations for Subaru. They continued to tell him that those actions were idleness.

――Rem is the only person who wouldn’t approve of the weakness of that Subaru.

She was only one who continued to tell him to stand up. She was the only one who continued to tell him to not give up. She was only one who continued to tell him to save everything.
Nobody made expectations for Subaru. She is the only person who didn’t abandon him and didn’t accept the Subaru who abandoned even himself.

This is the “curse” that Subaru cast on her.

[Rem: In that dark forest, in that world where even my own being became vague and I could only think of going on a rampage, you saved me.

[――――]

[Rem When I woke up and couldn’t move and Nee-sama was exhausted from using too much magic, you fought the demon beasts and lured them away to let us escape.]

[――――]

[Rem: You didn’t have a chance to win, and your life was truly in danger, but you still survived……you came back warm in my arms.]

[――――]

[Rem: You woke up with a smile, told me the words I wanted to hear the most when I wanted to hear them the most, from the person I wanted to hear them from the most.]

The frequency of the “curse” that Subaru cast on her is spoken from her mouth.
That “curse” profoundly and gently restrained her heart with the chains called faith, and she was tied by them like this now as well.

[Rem: My time has been paused for a long time. My time has been paused ever since that fiery night where I lost everything besides Nee-sama.]

Rem firmly looks at Subaru as she speaks of the parts of his heroic past.
She includes love and faith without any disorder and

[Rem: Subaru-kun is the one who gently melted my frozen heart and kindly made my paused time start again. I’m sure that Subaru-kun doesn’t know just how much you saved me and just how happy I was at that moment on that morning.]

She says “That’s why” and puts her hand on her chest as she connects her words

[Rem: ――I believe. No matter what type of harsh, painful things happen, even if it seems like Subaru-kun is going to lose, even if everyone around the world stops believing in Subaru-kun, even if Subaru-kun is longer able to believe in himself――I will believe.]

Rem talks, takes a step forward, and then closes her distance.
Rem extends both of her hands at a distance where she could reach him and then surrounds the still Subaru, who had his head faced down in shame. She didn’t pull him with much strength, but even then the non-resistant Subaru was embraced by her without a way to object.
He was embraced by Rem, who had a difference in height, and while he listens to the voice that came down from above

[Rem: I’ll believe that the Subaru-kun who saved me is a true hero.]

Her lips came near his forehead and he felt the sensation of warmth from her touch.
The heat of the sensation from her touch spreads, and an incomprehensible emotion expands within his chest.

Life returns to his previously inanimate hands and feet, and he feels a sensation that clears up the noise that filled up his skull.

[Subaru: No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t save anybody.]

[Rem: I am here. The Rem that Subaru-kun saved is right here.]

[Subaru: I’m an empty person who didn’t do anything. Nobody will do something like listen to me.]

[Rem: I am here. If it’s Subaru-kun’s words, then I’ll listen to anything. I want to listen.]

[Subaru: Nobody expects anything from me. Nobody believes in me. ……I hate myself.]

[Rem: I love you, Subaru-kun.]

She touches Subaru, who is in close proximity of her, with her warm hand, and her eyes that looked at Subaru moisten.
Because that figure and her current state affirmed the truth of the sincerity of those words

[Subaru: Are you……fine with me…….?]

No matter how many times he challenged it, no matter how many times he did it again, everything was ruined each time.
Everyone died. His hand couldn’t reach. He let everyone die. His ideas weren’t enough.

He was empty, powerless, and dumb. He was even slow at taking action, and even his urge to protect someone was an incomplete fragment that shook unsteadily.
Was she okay with him, even though he was a person like that?

[Rem: I want it to be Subaru-kun.]

[――――]

[Rem: I wouldn’t want it to be anyone other than Subaru-kun.]

If he had a person that believed in him when he didn’t even believe in himself…
Maybe it was okay for Natsuki Subaru to fight.

――Maybe it was okay to not give up on fighting against fate.

[Rem: If you can’t forgive the version of yourself that is empty and has nothing――let’s start from here.]

[Subaru: Start what……?]

[Rem: Just like how Subaru-kun made my time move again when it was stopped, we’ll make your time that you feel has stopped move again.]

He transformed the past where he did nothing, the days where he couldn’t do anything up until now, the regret of the time that he spent in lethargy, and his shame all into an attempt to give up.
Rem smiles at that type of Subaru and

[Rem: Let’s start from here. From one……no, from zero!]

[――――]

[Rem: If you have trouble walking alone, then I will support you. Let’s walk as we share the burden and support each other. That’s what you said on that morning, right?]

Subaru said that they would talk about the future side by side while laughing.
Subaru said that they would walk as they relied on each other and supported each other.

[Rem: Show me your cool side, Subaru-kun.]

Because he only continued to show his unattractive side…
Because Subaru himself cast an everlasting “curse” on her…

He had an obligation to fulfill that duty.

[Subaru: …….Rem]

[Rem: Yes]

She responded quietly when he called her name.
He raises his face, looks forward, and then looks into Rem’s eyes. She calmly and kindly waits for Subaru to let out his answer.
Because Subaru wanted to be the Natsuki Subaru that she loves…

[Subaru: ――I love Emilia.]

[Rem: ――Yes.]

Rem responds to Subaru’s confession by nodding with a smile that made it seem as if she knew everything.
And while knowing how cruel he was being to her smile and her kindness

[Subaru: I want to see Emilia’s smile. I want to be of help for Emilia’s future. Even if she tells me that I’m a nuisance, even if she tells me to stay away……..I want to be by her side.]

He reconfirmed that his feelings wouldn’t change at this time when he took in Rem’s feelings.
However, the grasp of his strong feelings was different from before.

[Subaru: For me to use my love as indulgence to get her to understand everything……that was arrogant, huh.]

[…………]

[Subaru: It’s okay if I don’t get her to understand. I want to help Emilia now. I want to bring Emilia out from the future of harsh suffering that awaits her and I want to take her into the future where everyone can smile.]

Thus,

[Subaru: Will you help me?]

He presents his hand and asked this question to Rem, who was right within his vicinity.
He was giving an answer that couldn’t respond to the feelings of the girl that presented herself and he knew that he was using her feelings, but even then, he still did this because this girl loved the boy who didn’t give up on the future of the people whom he cared about.

[Subaru: I can’t do anything by myself. I lack just about everything. I’m not confident that I can walk straight. I’m weak, fragile, and small. So, will you lend me your hand so that I could walk straight?]

[Rem: Subaru-kun, you’re cruel. You’re going to make a request like that to someone you just rejected?]

[Subaru: It’s hard for me to make this request to someone who rejected my once in a life time proposal too.]

The drained Subaru laughs. Rem lets out a small burst of laughter as if it was too much to handle.
They both laugh with each other for a while. Then Rem corrects her posture as she elegantly pinches her skirt and makes a bow. Then

[Rem: I humbly accept your request. If it means that Subaru-kun――Rem’s hero can meet the future with a smile.]

[Subaru: Yeah. Watch me. From your special seat, you’ll get to see…]

He takes Rem’s hand that she had presented to him and pulls the girl who exchanged an oath.
Rem leaks out a small “ah”, and the petite girl’s body settled into Subaru’s chest. As a thanks to the soft, hot existence of the girl who told him that she loves him

[Subaru: ――You’ll get to see the man you fell for become the coolest hero!]

The inside of his chest was hot.
Subaru pushes the Rem that he embraced into his chest. Her facial expression was concealed.
Her breath felt hot. The forehead that rubbed against his chest was hot. And surely, the tears that flowed from her eyes were the hottest of all.

――Even now, Subaru didn’t love himself. He hated himself.

But because Subaru had a girl who told him she loved him, despite him being like this….
Because there was a girl he wanted to have love him, even if she met that type of Subaru…

――I am looking at Emilia(you). Rem(you) is(are) looking at me. Thus, I won’t look down.

[――――]

His courage was borrowed, but because he believed that these feelings in his chest were genuine…

Let’s start here from zero.

Let’s begin the the tale of Natsuki Subaru.

――Let’s begin a life in a different world from zero.