Although he wasn’t worried to the point of anxiety, in order to settle an uncertain matter that lied within the mansion, Subaru would finally step inside that room.
Entering this room was the only time Subaru would naturally hold his breath and lighten his footsteps. But even if he were to enter the room while singing loudly and tapping with his footsteps, the situation within the room definitely wouldn’t change.
Still, perhaps he unconsciously decided to withhold the silence within the room simply for the sake of the girl who laid down on the bed within the room, whose figure would cause pain to swell up within his chest if he were to look at it excessively.
It was a deep sleep where, if she were to be able to wake up even right at this moment, he would wish for her to wake up. However, he felt that even if that were to happen, if he were to disturb her deep sleep, he would suffer a punishment of some sort, similar to a curse. This girl, who sunk into a deep sleep of everlasting dreams, was precious to him to such degree.
[Subaru: I say that but, that of course is just my own overly subjective belief huh…]
Saying those words with a tone of disbelief, Subaru pulled out a chair aside the bed to sit on. Just like that, one month had passed and he step foot into this room, meeting the face of a sleeping Rem, whose state showed no change from one year ago, now as well continuing to be in a state of deep slumber.
[Subaru: I’m back, but I’m sorry for coming to see you so late. I had some business to take care of…and on top of that I showed a bit of hesitation, making this visit very last-minute.]
It was obvious but, of course, there was no response from Rem who was in a deep slumber. Subaru reached out with his voice, despite knowing the fact that there would be no response, and held a calm expression even then. Natsuki Subaru held this expression that he would expose only to this specific girl.
He owned this determined expression, indicating he was ready to throw something away, that he would only show to Emilia. He owned this faithful expression, that made it seem as if he would be able to entrust his life, that he would only show to Beatrice. And then he owned this expression that exposed his weaknesses which he so often tried to conceal, the expression that he would only show to Rem.
[Subaru: I wonder if it’s okay if I talk… Actually, there’s so many things I can talk to you about, you know? Sadly I wasn’t able to visit you before because I was at the watergate city Pristella, but there still really was a lot of things that happened there. It was such a big uproar that, even if I talked to you about it all night, there still would be more for me to tell you. ….But even then, I have plenty of time in the world to talk to you about all that.]
Subaru gently slipped his hand within the bed, searching for the hand of the girl who had a towel blanket up to her chest, and began to make a speech upon grasping Rem’s hand. Within her long fingertips, with her slender, pale arms, her gentleness and existence of her warmth were evident, but for some reason it felt as if the circulation of her blood—–no, a sign of life within her was missing.
A lone force within her was preserving the life within her. However, there was no force within her that was fulfilling the role of moving that life forward.
Rem, with this contradictory situation going on within her, still had her time frozen, trapped within a state of deep slumber. However——,
[Subaru: I might finally reach you.]
[Subaru: Of course, it’s also possible for me to make my expectations too high and not end up being satisfied. Of course, it’s also possible for the sage to fail to live up to his name and end up with nothing, only to have him apologizing for his inaccurate information in the end.]
A clear way of a solution other than defeating gluttony finally is coming into sight. Although other people would have expectations and would become disappointed at the solutions that were available as a result of following a journey like this, the answer that he followed this road for still resembled a symbol of hope that he would finally seem to be able to lay his hands on.
[Subaru: Because Echidna freaked out and didn’t listen]
Within the sanctuary, within the witch’s graveyard, when he was invited to that surreal tea party, meeting the Witch of Greed along with Echidna, Subaru rejected the witches, escaping from the control of their hand. Natsuki Subaru made this decision in order to protect his own fragile soul, but at the same time it was a decision that distanced himself from people who could have (possibly) helped him find a way to save Rem.
Of course, he wasn’t aware the extent to which Echidna held an opinion of the Archbishops brandishing their power. But maybe, if he still were to reveal his circumstances, perhaps he would have been able to come up with a solution after hearing the Witch’s input.
He was confident that he made the right decision, and his immediate rejection of the witch’s demands was something that resembled his determination. But time was running out, and when he became aware of the fact that it felt as if the nature of the passing seasons was leaving Rem behind, he became worried about whether or not his decision was the correct one after all.
Even if he promised from the bottom of his heart that he would save her, he himself had not yet taken any definite action that would achieve such. He had only been able to slip through from the feeling of entrapment he felt from the stalemate he had been in, and was finally now able to do something for her sake.
In order to save the multitude of people-the multitude of men within the town of Pristella who were suffering the same type of fate as Rem-he went on a journey towards the Pleiades watchtower. However, if you were to point out his real motive, the real reason Subaru moved forward towards this watchtower was because of Rem; nothing else was a real possible candidate for being his true reason. It was unreasonable and inappropriate, even while understanding that, Subaru continued to—–.
[Subaru: I will save you, Rem. That is my oath.]
Just like she was there for Subaru during those fragile days, in those times- Now was the time when Subaru wanted to be the one there for her and offer his hand, in these times where Rem needed someone’s hand the most.
Subaru, who had his eyes closed tight while speaking words of determination, heard that voice which made his face lift up abruptly. He took a look at Rem with a look of inconceivable surprise within his eyes, only to find that she was laying there quietly with her eyes closed, holding onto Subaru’s hand in silence. If that’s the case, then whose voice——,
[Ram: Let go of her hand Barusu. Just looking at how strongly you’re holding her hand brings me pain ]
[Subaru: …..Oh, it’s Ram.]
When Subaru looked back, he saw Ram standing and staring at him with a cold look in her eyes from the room’s entrance. After being relieved by her look, he realized that he had been holding Rem’s hand with his own hand tighter than he thought he was and quickly let go.
[Ram: It’s okay, I can handle watching Subaru violate Rem’s whitebait-like fingers out of his sexual desires.]
[Subaru: Can you not say it like that? That’ll make me feel like the semblance of my previous determination completely turned into something loathsome.]
After Subaru let go of Rem’s hand, Ram, who had stepped into the room, took her hand instead. The older sister gently caressed the slender, white fingers of her younger sister and then looked at Subaru with a side glance.
[Ram: Was your determination really that pure? Carefully reflect on yourself a bit more and make your speech again. …..If you unleash your sexual desires towards me, who looks extremely similar to Rem, Ram will also get the shivers up her back and run away.]
[Subaru: Calm down. Even though your physical appearances are extremely alike, I will never confuse myself when pointing out the difference in radiance held within between you two.]
[Ram: Is that so. I guess that’s fine then. But even if you were to finally find a way to try to wake her up, if you were to meet again with her without remembering who she was, Rem’s feelings would not be at peace. It would be surprising if she were to not hold any detest for you, if your depictions of her during our idle conversations were not just wild fantasies that is.]
[Subaru: Just how little faith do you have in me…we’ve known each other for a long time now you know?]
Snorting with her nose like she always did, Ram indicated with her movements that she was about to leave her seat. Along with getting up from her seat, she took a look around the room and then,
[Ram: I need to get ready to leave so, someone also needs to prepare Rem’s second set of clothes. There’s not much sweat on her clothes so changing them isn’t really necessary but…..her body still needs to be wiped off so.]
[Ram: Something’s widening below your nose, disgusting.]
[Subaru: I didn’t say anything because there wasn’t really anything to say but, even when I don’t say anything this is the treatment I get!?]
Taking care of Rem’s body—-the Rem who had her name and memories eaten-was essentially unrelated to getting a reaction from her physical body. There was no real palpable practical reason for doing things like wiping her body and changing her clothes. The reason for doing such things was no more than to simply be able to occasionally comfort himself, being able to remind the people around her of her existence, not allowing it to be deserted.
Looking at Ram with disdain, Subaru seemed like he was unreasonably about to act like one of the troupe people, but when he remembered the place he was in he let go of his fist.
Only considering the ultimate results from doing all this, actions like Subaru making a speech and Ram taking care of her younger sister’s body, nothing really seemed to be indicative of moving forward. He didn’t stop people from taking actions that could be considered pointless, because he realized that even if people didn’t say it out loud, he knew that people still acknowledged the fact that their actions would not bring actual results.
[Subaru: Isn’t about time for you to start feeling as if Rem is your real sister?]
Subaru asked this question unexpectedly to Ram who, with her caring way of doing things, was looking at the figure of a sleeping Rem with her kindness. Even though Ram bravely took care of Rem, she had no memories of this girl who represented her other half. The girl was so similar to Ram that you couldn’t possibly claim that they were unrelated. But if you solely considered Ram’s true feelings about her, you could say that Ram’s relation to Rem was a weak one.
Still, days like these passed by for a whole year. Even though she had lost her memories of Rem, it was possible for new, different ones to form. Perhaps now definite memories were taking form within Ram.
[Ram: Earnest feelings aren’t things that sprout that easily. I still don’t have memories of her in me and I’ve never witnessed this girl in an awake state. Although I could imagine that she was probably someone of excellence and dignity, similar to myself.]
[Subaru: Sure she was excellent but, I don’t really have any memory of her being that dignified. Rather, there was a lot of times where she would surprisingly be in such a hurry to the point of being reckless, causing me to worry.]
Rem had this other reckless part of her that she would show on occasion. Ram responded to Subaru with an “I see” with a listless voice similar to the wind.
[Ram: Speaking of memories that I do not remember, even if it’s just for amusement, is nothing more than moving backwards. That’s something I’m not very fond of, Barusu.]
[Subaru: Is that so? If you say so, then I’ll stop.]
[Ram: ….After she wakes up, if I regain my memories of her even then, I’ll have plenty of things to talk to her about. But even if say I don’t regain them, if she just were to wake up, as much as she’d want to talk about I would…]
Peeping into the face of her younger sister, Ram played with her bangs with an unchanging expression. Rem’s hair freely drifting down from above her pale forehead, Ram let out a small sigh. Her expression was one that seemed cruel yet gentle to Subaru.
Even if she remembered nothing, even if she lost her memories of her, it wasn’t as if their bond had disappeared. Even if it had disappeared, it wasn’t as if it wouldn’t intertwine again. Those were Subaru thoughts.
[Subaru: Well, leave all that to me. I’ll conquer the sage’s watchtower and then definitely make Rem wake up. And then you two sisters will have your emotional reunion.]
Thus, Subaru said these words in an excessively bright manner, with a deliberately loud voice. If anything, this moment between Subaru and Rem didn’t fit the quiet atmosphere within the room.
Subaru made this speech, only to have Ram look back at him with an extremely confused look.
[Ram: What are you saying, Barusu.]
After that, Ram looked at Subaru with a look that made it seem like Subaru looked like an idiot.
[Ram: Ram will also accompany you on this next journey, so putting it that way is pretty condescending. If it’s going to be an emotional reunion, Ram will act on her own accord.]
[Subaru: That’s news that I haven’t heard before you know!]
In response to Subaru widening his eyes in surprise, Ram looked at Subaru with an even more despising look. Even if she looked at him with that look, he couldn’t know what he hadn’t been told about, and he couldn’t be aware of things that he couldn’t have heard about, so this was an unreasonable situation.
In response to Subaru asking about what she was talking about, Ram held a manner of blocking her ears from his words with rejection. This day of preparation as well would gradually pass on, as they wouldn’t be able to have a straightforward conversation.
—–The decision for Ram to accompany him, with a goal of reuniting the sisters Ram and Rem.
A journey beginning with the purpose of meeting the fortune-telling sage, a journey to conquer the Pleiades watchtower-. In total there would be a sum of 8 participants of a large family. That was the type of situation that seemed to lie ahead.
rem a best said:
based af lad
thanks for this man
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